I've been thinking a lot about....

Giving and receiving.

A few days ago, I received an email from one of my mother's old friends (from elementary school!) and it was a Christmas greeting. It really tugged on my heart a bit, so I am going to post part of it:

"Cold, Crisp Days of Winter—The promise of snow—Memories of wishing and hoping for that which we thought would make our lives complete (One year a red bicycle, another year a fast and cool looking slot car—the best was a guitar). Memories of trying to make others happy with the gifts we bought or made (Being nine or ten years old and counting up aunts, uncles and cousins, then dividing that sum into about $12.00 and then shopping for 59 cent gifts).

We make a journey in life from childish expectations of Joy being delivered to us on Christmas Eve to the point where we put pressure on ourselves to deliver Joy to others during the Christmas season. I suppose that is worth the celebration. Many of us first received the gift of giving through Christmas. After all the wishing for what we wanted, we learned that it’s all about the giving—Our parents, siblings, grand-parents, aunts, uncles and friends gave us what we wanted not only because it made us happy—it made them happy too. What a great reason to celebrate.

We celebrate the ultimate gifts of Hope and Joy through our celebration of Christmas. We wish each other happiness and merriness and Peace. We celebrate life through the celebration of the birth of one child, born two thousand years ago and through that celebration we learn to give. What a great celebration. I wish you not only a Merry Christmas but a great celebration of giving." - Paul Waldner

In reflecting on past Christmases, I realize that in other years I have been much more excited about the season than I am this year. This year, I had only enough money to buy presents for about 4 people- all family members, and they are all receiving a picture frame with a picture from our wedding. I had a blast in picking out the pictures and frames, and really put a lot into the few presents I could give. I remember as a child, I'd work so hard at painting ornaments or making mix cassette tapes as gifts because I had no money to buy actual presents. I loved watching the joy on people's faces as they opened what I'd worked so hard on, and each year I felt like I had better and better gifts to give. I actually remember the year that I first started to feel like giving really was better than receiving.

This year, I have little to give, my excitement is dimmed....but I still feel blessed.

My good friend Farrah recently shared a story of how she went out of her way to give a small gift- a good tip to a hairdresser, and she found exactly the same amount of money in the street. To her, it was a reward for the gift she gave so willingly.

It is a good lesson to learn to give and to find joy in giving as well as receiving. It is also good to learn to give without expecting anything.

In the past, I have given the church a tithe, expecting God's blessings to be poured out on me. In the past year, I have spent time questioning God's goodness because of the fact that I have been faithful in tithing, and yet have not found a good job yet. It has been hard for me to give when I have not received...especially when I have no money!

Today I was reading in Philippians, one of my favorite books because it is so encouraging and uplifting. I read this:

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. -Phil 3:7-11

And later, in the next chapter, he thanks the Philippians for the monetary gifts they sent him to continue his ministry:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need. Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account. I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. -Phil 4: 11-19

There is something about giving and receiving that makes people feel blessed. It is not about possessions or "keeping up with the Joneses" or getting the latest gadgets. Receiving is not just about opening presents on Christmas morning, but joyfully accepting a gift from someone which in turn, brings them joy. Over the past year, I've felt blessed most by the people who have given to me without expecting anything in return. They are the people who brought me into their homes and loved me like their own out of pure selflessness.

I think one thing I have been learning this year is how to trust God for His faithfulness in giving blessings, even when I have not been seeing those blessings tangibly.